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Bridesmaids Questions of the Month

We have decided with all the brides-to-be and maid-of-honor recipiants writing in to make a Q and A page to answer some of the more common questions. Please let us know if you also have questions as we would be happy to answer them and help out in the bridesmaid and maid of honor department:

Q:
I am planning a memorable bridal shower for my best friend but am concerned other girls will not be able to pitch in as much as I need to throw the type of shower that my friend will want. Any suggestions?

A:
It is important to know that any party with all of the bridesmaids friends around will be meaningful to her and not to worry about a fancy party, unless it is desired from all and affordable. It sounds as if you will need to pitch in more than the other girls and only ask what they can afford to chip in. Remember that it is about being all together and having a fun time.

Q: Hi. I have a quick question.. I am going to be the Maid of Honor in my friend's wedding next year, but I don't know how I am going to plan everything, since I live in a different state .. Any advice or suggestions?

A: The beautiful thing about living in a virtual world is that you can plan everything from computers, iPads and phones. Just make sure to have great communication with the bride-to-be, get all the bridesmaids phone numbers early and plan the bachelorette party and help with the bridal shower early and you are golden! Many are planning these parties out of state and they go exceptionally well.

Q: I am going to be a maid of honor in a wedding in a few months and we are planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The bride to be is also having 2 other bridal showers and asked that I be there. I can and will attend, but what is the adequate as to bringing a bridal shower gift to all 3 showers? She is one of my best friends, but it is kind of financially hard right now.

A: Thank you for your email. Sounds like you are going to be a busy maid of honor. It does get costly and our suggestion is to go for something meaningful and personal along with the fact that you only need to purchase one gift for all three showers. You have enough bridal expenses coming up as well as the potential travel. I hope this helps.

Q: I was wondering how much is an acceptable amount a Bridesmaid should spend on a wedding gift for the bride to be? If you are spending money on a dress plus to get hair and makeup done, I don't know how much is a good amount to give as a gift.

A: Bridesmaids definitely have their fair share of bridesmaid expenses and bridesmaid duties. Our suggestion is to purchase a meaningful gift that you can afford since you are already spending enough for everything to be part of the bride-to-be's special day. Some of our bridesmaid gift ideas are on our site. I hope this helps and have a great time!

Q: I want to play some bridal shower games at our party but am concerned that no one will participate since my bridesmaids are party poopers when it comes to bridal games.

A: Bridal shower games should be fun for the bridesmaids and you. There are many bridal shower games that are non-intrusive and don't place anyone on the spot. You don't have to do race-type games to have fun. It can be as easy as playing bridal shower bingo where you number each of the bridal shower gifts. When the bride chooses one, mark of the respective spot on pre-made bingo cards with the same number as the amount of presents. The winner will get a bridesmaid gift. You can also have all the bridesmaids guess pre-made questions based on the bride and groom's likes and dislikes to see how well the bridesmaids really know the bride and groom.

Q: I am a bridesmaid who is planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party and am concerned about the weather as we are back East in the US. What would you recommend for not knowing how the weather will go and that we want to plan an outdoor event!

A: We suggest planning an indoor and outdoor venue so you can control what happens if the weather is not nice as well as to let all the bridesmaids know to dress in layers. Make sure you are not stuck inside our outside and also let the place know that you want a bridesmaid discount since you want a group rate! Have a great time with the bridesmaids and bride-to-be!

Q: I am the maid of honor and concerned about planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party (www.bachelorettepartyfun.com) since me and the bridesmaids don't have a lot of money. What can we do?

A: Our suggestion is to have an economical bridal shower and bachelorette party, paying attention to cost. Have a party at someone's house or plan early and ask for volume discounts which venues are more than happy to give in this economy. Create decorations with the bridesmaids and discuss the financial issues with the bride-to-be who will understand. The most important thing is that all your friends are together and having a memorable time!

Q: My friend is getting married and asked for me to be a maid of honor as well as her sister. Can you have two Maid of Honors?

A: It is traditional to have only one Maid of Honor with more bridesmaids but absolutely fine to plan the mix any way the bride-to-be wishes as it is her wedding. It is an honor to be a maid of honor or bridesmaid so enjoy sharing this honor with her sister. Check out our Maid of Honor duties as well as other helpful information on bridesmaids.

Q: How do I ask the bridesmaids to chip in for the bachelorette party and bridal shower without sounding like a bridesmaidzilla?

A: A very common question and understandable since no one likes to be the money collector. The important thing is to be honest and direct as it is not fair for anyone to get stuck with the bill when everyone should chip in (unless someone has financial hardship). Send an email out early to all the bridesmaids in planning the festivities and get a census on what everyone is willing to equally pay. If you find out how much the bachelorette party supplies and entertainment will be, ask each to pay their share and give them a date to pay by. If a bridesmaid doesn't pay by the party, ask them to bring the money and collect prior to everyone partying.

Q: Is it ok for my bridal gown to be shorter than the bridesmaid dresses or should I get my bridesmaid dresses altered?

A: Normally, the bridal gown and bridesmaid dresses should be around the same length or the gown to be much larger. This is a call on your behalf if you can see the gown and one of the bridesmaid dresses on to see how it looks together. If it looks complimentary, then you are good to go as it is your wedding and you are the final decision maker.

Q: How long should a bridesmaid remain at the wedding reception? If necessary, when is the appropriate time to excuse oneself and the proper way to do so?

A: The rule of thumb is to stay until all the main events are done (dance, cake served, pictures, thank you's). If you need to leave earlier, let the bride-to-be know in advance so there is no expectation to stay later. Check out our other bridesmaid duties as well as our previous Q: s of the month.

Q: I am the maid of honor and am a little shy. I don't really know the other bridesmaids and am trying to think of a way to see if anyone wants to help since I work a lot and also want to make sure I include others in bridesmaid planning.

A: Ask the bride-to-be for everyone's email address and phone number and introduce yourself by phone while asking if it is okay to email them updates about the wedding and events as well as to find out who wants to be involved. You can also create a blog site or facebook site about the wedding which makes it fun for everyone and memorable for the bride!

Q: What should I do as the maid of honor has planned a real expensive all day event for the bachelorette party and bridal shower which most bridesmaids cannot afford with this economy.

A: We would suggest someone that knows the maid of honor the most, have a meeting with her and state that most of the girls cannot pay for the expensive festivities. Explain that the most important part of the party is that the bride-to-be is with those bridesmaids who want to attend both the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It should not be centered on money and in fact should be sensitive to this economy!

Q: What should I do as the maid of honor has planned a real expensive all day event for the bachelorette party and bridal shower which most bridesmaids cannot afford with this economy.

A: We would suggest someone that knows the maid of honor the most, have a meeting with her and state that most of the girls cannot pay for the expensive festivities. Explain that the most important part of the party is that the bride-to-be is with those bridesmaids who want to attend both the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It should not be centered on money and in fact should be sensitive to this economy!

Q: What do the bridesmaids typically pay for during the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This economy is tough and I want to know what to do.

A: It is customary for the bridesmaids to pay their own way for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Our advice is to ask each bridesmaid or the majority if they can all pitch in for the bride-to-be main expenses as well as their own and give a break down for what the itinerary will include. If someone has difficulty paying due to the economy, ask if they can at least pay their way. The important factor is to at least get everyone together to have fun for memorable times and not about the expense or where you are.

Q: Traditionally, there is a certain amount of money a Maid of Honor should spend for the wedding gift and even the bridal shower gift?

A: There is no typical amount of money to be spent on the bachelorette party, bridal shower or bridal gift. The Maid of Honor already has a lot of expenses with the bridesmaid dresses, planning and whole process. I am not sure if you saw our maid_of_honor_expenses page and I hope this helps. Have a wonderful wedding and a Happy New Year!

Q: I am wondering what is the perfect number of bridesmaids for my wedding as my fiancÚ and I have different groups of friends? I am also wondering our responsibility on what we pay for the bridesmaids and what they pay for?

A: There is no right and wrong amount of bridesmaids for your wedding party! You can have as many or as little amount of bridesmaids as you want. The bridesmaids and maid of honor traditionally have financial responsibilities which you can find here.

Q: I am the Maid of Honor in my sister-in-law's wedding next June. However, I live in California and she lives in Massachusetts. What kinds of bridesmaid and maid of honor duties can I perform being so far away?

A: There are a lot of bridesmaid and maid of honor duties you can perform being that far away. You can help her choose her bridesmaid dresses via the internet and sending her suggestions (if she is open to it), planning the bachelorette party, bridal shower, and help her organize the wedding where she needs help. It is always best to ask the bride-to-be what she needs assistance and support with as every bride is different. You also use your judgment in knowing who she is and how she enjoys help. Have a great wedding and we hope this helps.

Q: I am a little short on funds this year due to the US financial crisis. What do I have to pay for as I am concerned at how much the wedding will cost me as the bridesmaid!

A: It is important to be communicating this information to the bride as well as being economical with how you can help out as the maid of honor. We have a list of expenses that are traditional but again you can pay for only what you can practically afford. The important thing is that you are there for your friend on her special wedding day and those moments that lead up to the day!

Q: Can I have two maids of honor or should one just be a bridesmaid?

A: Although it is not traditional, it is absolutely up to you how many bridesmaids you have and how many maids of honors you have. Again, it is your wedding and it should be special!

Q: I want to ask my Aunt, who is 55, to be my matron of honor. Is this an acceptable thing to do?

A: No matter at what age, it is absolutely great to have your Aunt be the matron of honor. This also goes for your bridesmaids as well.

Q: My Maid of Honor and my "soon to be husband" were arguing about the wedding. According to the maid of honor, it is a rule that she does not give a wedding gift to the bride and groom. Is this true? I have asked around but everyone I ask thinks she is crazy? The money doesn't mean anything to me. Its her and the bridesmaids being there that is important but I think it upset my fiancÚ because she is always throwing out there how much money she makes. The Maid of Honor was saying how she made 90 thousand dollars last year. Anyway if you could email me back that would be great!

A: Thank you for your question. You are right that it is a tradition that the Maid of Honor does not give a gift as she is planning the bachelorette party, bridal shower and helping out with the wedding which is the "gift". Your groom is right as the Maid of Honor in most present weddings does give a gift to the bride and groom. It is really up to what you guys are comfortable with and accept, not about how much money she makes. I hope this is helpful and have a great wedding!

Plan some creative and fun ideas with the bridesmaids for your friend who will be married soon. With the weather staring to become more warm, many times the bridal shower and bachelorette party will be held either inside or outside at a home or restaurant, depending on what part of the country you live. Enjoy the bridal shower from bridesmaid 101.

We hope Bridesmaid101.com is helpful and fun for you! So let the planning process begin by choosing any of the bridal links above!

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